the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
