forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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