he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
