Barsexuality is the new black.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
