I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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