I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize