Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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