Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
