If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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