Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
