I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
