Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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