I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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