ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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