If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize