direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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