your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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