I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
