Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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