he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
