end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
His nipple licking is glorious
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