I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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