Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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