so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just pee around me
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
