You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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