did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
