the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
