I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
