Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
