I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
