she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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