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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  what did you do?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i asked her out. that's so hot.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (901): View more from Tennessee

  The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"

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