The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel