I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux