My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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