2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
