So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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