How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
