he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
