So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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