So drunk its hurt
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
