This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This is the high leading the old right now
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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