We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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