Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
