I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
