Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
