OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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