whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
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