Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Randomize
