dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
