So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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