I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
