is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
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