my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
