Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
