Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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