i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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