So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
