you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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