I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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