apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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