the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
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Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
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At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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