no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
